Friday, October 3, 2008

everybody says i am fine...

Amongst the most inconclusive researches made... the one that stands out is the limit research... and this takes us back 2 the subject of drinking... so as u might have guessed the limit we or rather i am going to talk about is the limit 2 the number of drinks one can have... or should have... the stages one goes through, and when it is that one has peaked and one drop can lead 2 the once thought improbable, for i have been there done that and had made fun of... so this is for all u out there, this is to tell u what not 2 do... or how not to do it...!!!

... Never and this is the goldenest rule of them all... never chat up with the waiter, never get pally... cuse then once u r getting high u wud know whom to ask for the next shot... and pals like to see u make a nuisance of urself for at the end of it all u wud pay more...  and drink extra... so b the uptight nueve rich diplomatic golden spoon up ur ass prick n do not get friendly...
... Never start of empty stomached... have seen the mighty fall after having a cuple on an empty stomach.. so order a starter... or eat something from the plate of the dude sitting on the table next 2 urs but do not let a drop of alcohol enter ur system with nothing inside...
...Do not let the music determine ur drink... or decide the amount u have so to say... wat i mean is... if u r a floyd fan n the DJ seems to be turning it on playin gilmore after rogers n comf numb after money u dnt hve 2 lose ur head stand up on ur seat n raise a toast to days gone by n then raise nther wen he plays comin back 2 life cuse it oh so very much is the story of ur life... guess wat u r already 2 shots down...n ur guts r cryin...
...never eye a chick u cant lay ur hands on n wait till she leaves... cuse guess wat she aint havin the crap u r gulpin down... n by the time she thinks she has overstayed her welcome u r already stoned enough to see two of her... 
...never go out with just a friend,... as in no two people shud sit alone n drink... cuse then u r competitive subconsciously, u wanna see who drinks more n still stands straight, who will have th bragging rights for the night... its no longer a reason 2 celehbrate... its an opportunity 2 decapitate the other mans ego.. so call a third friend... pref a teetotaller n u bth shud take his trip instead...
...never ever... i repeat ever try and outdo wat u once did or even try and come close 2 ur last record... cuse like the egg thats now a chicken u r eating... u 2 have aged n no matter if it was a weak back... back then u were a weak unger... nw u r not in a physical position 2 better that record...
...if during the course of the whole thing u feel that u r not able to hold the glass in a way thats desired or are able to place it back on the table in one go... quit... another drops ur demise... for all drinkers may or may not respect their lives... they respect their glasses... u must pay obscience to it for having brought to ur lips the joy that life so desired...
if u hear urself laughing excessively on a joke u cant understnd or had half heard... or u hear urself singing (which u know u suck at) this is ur last drink... stop... before u stand next 2 the DJ n makin pals wid him... or r sittin on another table n cracking jokes wid people u dont know...
...never mix drinks...
... never spike them...
... never think u can have more...
... never tell urself that u r not drunk...
n last...
... never read wat i typed... cuse a drunk man has no religion... he only has a bottle... n bottles dont type...wat am i sayin this sucks as a bottomline so wait...
n the botomline to it all.. wen u r happy n high... remember never say the truth... just point blank lie...!!!

2 comments:

Arby K said...

Hey, will remember it the next time I go out for a drink. (Even though I don't drink)

Anonymous said...

its you only who keeps flaunting your 'corporate' discount everywhere everytime...le fir...jee le zindagi!!!! :P