3rd...

At times u say stuff n later on u regret it... n then there are times in the spur of the moment u say smthin n the next moment u forget it... i hate the latter... cuse at times... n especially those when the minds at a momentary high... when senses r numb...the world goes by slow... the thoughts that u taught urself are so clear and so distinct from each other... when every word is worth its weight in gold and manifold... these are times when deliriums a moment away and the moment seems so momentary so ephemeral and u dnt want it 2 last... for delirium is the ubiquitous existence the panacea u r chasing its ur goal yet this moment is when u have the worlds attention... so what do u do.. the next swigs ur undoing but thats wat u r doing... sinking... blabbering... u r the worthless drunkard at some watering hole... lying in ur own incongruous meelie of words u dnt understand... what made the crowds heads turn u dnt remember... ur minute of fames long gone... what stares u now are questioning eyes.. unsure of ur next move... the crowd thins away... ur floating now... the words seem a long distant dream... the moment so ephemeral...so effervescent burst like a bubble... the time crushed like a scooby snack... time for a coffee... :)

Valedic...

I have this notion... that someday... i would get up and walk out... and when i say walk out i intend to say that I would walk out on everything around me... people... friends... colleagues... everyone... and start a new life. It is quite often misrepresented in flicks where u start a new life and ur past catches up with u,.. with me it wont... it would be complete disassociation and detachment from all I know... and why?? I donno... maybe its because of the way 2day was... maybe its because I have realised and come 2 terms with the bitter truth that is... that the one strand of imagination i had emancipated... and kept hoping for and kept alive is not done for... this one glimmer of hope to have things work out differently has died... so maybe... in a new life it would be better... maybe I would be less of a nobody when I reappear... maybe I dont give a fuck to the fact that this is being read or not... maybe I would be a valedictorian at oxford... and the next thing u know I am all over 100 dollar bills somewhere... maybe its all a farce, the very fact that I write it here right now is for someone to read and ask me as to what is wrong or what the hell this means, or maybe we are all that ways... all bound by the world, strained in our thoughts, mindless in our actions, and confused in our lives... we are but the offspring of one human alone... the guy who started it all... so we are after all linked in one common strand... the strand of revival... for he 2 realised that he needs to wake up someday somewhere else with it all left behind... with a new start and a new morning and a new hope... maybe that day is tomorrow... maybe it is just the time i would be woken up from my sleep at 5 am in the morning jolted into a bus ride to a place dark and gloomy sitting next to a ghost and then cut off from it all thrown into a jungle unknown coming to grips with my decision of going through it all only to find myself struggling with life once again in a world where truth is just a misrepresentation of all the lies you cant carry anymore... maybe i was better of the nobody i was and not the valedictorian I am...

As Is

Life is as is... as will be... as was... as should be....
moments are as gone... as were... as spent... as done...
this time is..one tide... one breeze... waits for none...
I am as was... as am... as free...
Ended up doing an As is analysis of a fucked up juiced out squeezed tight business we are trying to envisage and run in a dying market with zilch investment and maxed out effort... its a race against time... a worthless and endless grime, a grave we dig two inches deep everyday trying to fit in more people... I do see the light in the day (n yes not night... cuse we are blinded in the day neways)... i do see we are wrong... and as a pea at the bottom of all of the queens mattresses i do try and make my point... do give them folks up above an itch once in a while that the picture aint rosy... and get out while the time is right. But then there is an escalation of commitment we all live with... my friends are going through it with marriages... some with their girlfriends... and businesses these days with rigid commitments that are far 2 much cast in stone for anyones good. Flexibility is what smaller organizations thrive on... and on what airtel sneezes and gives a flu to. We are all about the moolah... all on paper... none to see... if u make it cool... ur luck but on paper the case should predict a story all would like to hear, I aint a cynic, nor am i too old in the system 2 be critical of it... but from what I have seen its all about boss is right cover ur ass and run. So all I am looking for is 2 exit stage left before the fat lady sings, my paycheck takes a hit and the recruiters give me crap... so if my boss is reading yes i am planning 2 exit...If a consultants reading I am with Airtel for the last 2 years... and if its u my friend then is there an opening in ur parta town??? cuse life is as is... is shit... where i sit... am hit... :)