end of an era...

tonight... its not about the departed... the ones who farted.. the ones who lived/died... the moments that lied... its about the song that dont remain... the same and it does pain... to know tomorrow the black heart sun... will no longer know the one... who once was the one within and not without... the end of an era beyond the shadow of a doubt... :(

Life has flipped, tripped and fallen I have in an abyss, and nope it aint sadness/grief/remorse that has befallen my pedantic state.. its just that things have changed and people around me have changed to and they changed far too much for me to catch up...
does it matter? its a pertinent question for what has befallen is not a recondite, and infallible yet reprehensible memory that i cant repress... its just that the ones close 2 me are far away... and yet i feel i could be the one responsible... but yet i could be the one without... so what am i losing out on? Company? Gossip? A chance to network? Naah.. am losing on a brady bunch i called my own... people have moved... there have been weddings/departures changes... some elevated to thrones they dont look down from some fallen far 2 deep in the crests of failures they cant look up from... so is my failure reproaching me from approaching the ones i trusted?
OR is it just a mere coincidence that my moments of fortitude and goodwill amongst those i loved was just a mere coincidental fallacy that was so well amalgamated with my will to be happy... and now that sadness has engulfed my being, i find myself alone... and not so sure whether my happiness was but a dream or just a mere conjured image of a happy me that will never be... or are these just emotions than any drunk unsure soul shall be filled with when not called/waited/fed... or are these unfulfilled desires to be the part of whats lost? I do feel lost somewhat... but tomorrow the rum wont remain and the gumm within shall disappear...