Well friends come and go... the real ones you stick onto... and reality is a deferred illusion... u realise what real is once its past... i somehow hate it for a fact that i am awake at 1:30 am... writing some trash again... but well... the weathers awesome.. rain seems to be pelting my window begging me to stand outside and i do... getting wet is an awesome feel... even if its standing on the parapet of your third floor house knowing well that a slip would mean shitloads of trouble for those around... and it wont matter to you at all he he he... but then again one needs a clear head... to write and express stuff... when all you got inside are thoughts occupying a mind besieged and beguiled by so much randomness that the whole effort of making sense is absolutely futile...I guess I lost the whole sense of happiness in its truest form a while back... and as someone said... misery brings the best outta us... i think i fell in love with it... and now picking a leaf from tikku's way of putting things while blogging... as S said... theres nothing wrong or right about trying to make things work... what matters more is do they or dont they.... I always hoped they would... they never did never would i hope i continue to rue the fact that they dont...for then only can i wake up at 1 in the night and think things through...
Freindship aint something i swear by... i mean within a couple of days it will be legal for me 2 touch booze in delhi and within half an year or so my friends shall be stepping into a world where calling them for booze is outta question... so i guess i am reconciling with the fact that for 2 years i shall be getting smashed alone... though theres an upside to it... i will foot my own bill.. :D....
and again taking a cue outta tikkus blog...some people have definite strands of difference hanging outta the bow tie they wear every day... they are so new i feel like puking my guts out... for i dont mind change... as long as its good... but as soon as someone changes and the change aint for the greater common good... but rather a self sufficing fallacy of promises and buttressing someone to get stuff goin... it makes me wanna give up my MBA and think of joining something that shal atleast guarantee world peace...
now this goes to X and double a... i donno how many times i have said this... but why would someone break someones heart when the person dont have the courage to do it... so well... since none of them got the courage to shit over it all.. i will say try make some castles in the air outta it... put up in them... and rent me a place outta it for its been a while since i dreamt lucid...
so where does it put me now... it puts me right where i belong... on the fork... sure as hell this will end... sure as hell tomorrow when i wake up all the thoughts of F shall be gone and as X put it... forget her seth... forget her... so well..
heres to forgive and forget...
to all the strangers i met...
to the lies i lied...
to the times i tried...
to the dangling conversations...
to the uneneding chatless frustrations...
to tonight tomorrow and what remains..
to the heartache and pains...
to being and being played a fool...
to the fact... tht i aint cool!!! :)
signing off...
hellraiser....!!!
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