a little while later...

I stare at three drafts... three unfinished tales looking at me as i go through the posts...three wonderous incoherent pieces of utter nonsense staring at me... but then again... they are yesterday... and today if i leave this as such it will be the draft left open yesterday... so why dont i just let this be the one post that wasnt meant to impress a reader glancing through blogs of note... why not let this be not a meaningless free writing that will be unjumbled in some saner moment in time... why try and give this a meaning that means nothing to the world around... why hope that this be the breakthrough the world awaits... for a little while later when the fingers are numb... the mind unsure of the chain of thot it was at the moment an insignificant passing whiff of breeze blowing by it wont matter... it would just be another draft like the many left behind... who cares, where does this all count... the world is too busy making its own plans... I am myself 2 busy pressing the self destruct button everyday... so why wake up tomorrow in a hope that this would have made a difference yesterday... who has the time 2 see the difference being made... is difference not as transient as life itself that observed in that frame of reference as life... both look the same... the inherent transience of life so very much a part of the change itself that it all looks the same at the end of the day. Akin to an amalgam life is entrenched in its own changing self that there is nothing discernable any more... life is change change is life... deprived of sleep impalled by the hope and despair of the inability to see what things have become a little while later from where it was originally thought of... this has become a diatribe in itself... an effort 2 make sense gone waste... an effort to let things be made a mess of... I guess i should be sleeping... and this shall remain but a draft...